Sometimes I wish I could turn myself into a good vintage wine. Like a bottle of Chateau Lafite from 1787. “Believed to be from Thomas Jefferson’s cellar.” Hmmm. $156,450. A pure bargain.

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But since I don’t speak no Frances and  I’m more of a tequila guy, I will settle for something more junior and familiar. This tequila Fuenteseca is only 11 years old and dirt cheap. Only $350. Keep your change.

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Their ages differ 218 years but both of them are proud to be how old they are. They both get paid handsomely for it too.

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As for sober me in Tokyo, my spirit went sinking every time the interviewers asked me how old I am. Here we go again. Kampai! The legality of the age-related question in your country is beside the point; Ageism sucks.

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My go-to bottle at home was running low now. I’d better order a new Casamigos soon. Añejo, por favor. Arigato, Amazon.

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According to the Happiness U-Curve, the average life satisfaction starts high in teen years and sinks down into the 30s and 40s followed by better 60s and on. Swell. Midlife crisis. Can’t beat the classics.

You had so much potential in your 20s. You were poor and inexperienced but all you had to say was, “Hey, I’m only 21.” You were pardoned. Young men do stupid stuff. Give him a break. Or maybe the society was strict after all and didn’t forgive you for the youthful sins. But you were able to indulge yourself personally because you knew you were still young and you knew you can make a comeback.  

Then by the time you are in your 60s, you’ve been there and done that. Your expectation on yourself shifts to a more benevolent mindset. You begin to accept your limitations. “I`m already 61. I know myself.”

I don’t have the indulgence of my 20s anymore. The society will not forgive me. “You should know this already because you are old enough. But you don’t even know this s***? Sayonara, sir!” But I don’t have the acceptance and wisdom that comes with age either. “Aren’t you little too young to be retired? Lazy ass.”

I know I can get through this. I think. I hope. But how?

Learning from the best might help. Unlike me, there are people who are proud to say how old they are. Sure, they are successful people.

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Kevin Kelly, the founding executive editor of Wired magazine, wrote 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice to celebrate his birthday. I saw a lot of people sharing his post for the obvious reason: Every piece is so true. Yet, none stuck with me.

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More impactful birthday advice came from my favorite author Ryan Holiday.  But again, nothing resonated. Except:

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When I was in high school, I was in this English class and I shared something with the discussion group we were in. Then later, I heard people use what I had said in their essays or in presentations and get credit for it. I brought this up to the teacher later, that people were using my ideas. The teacher looked at me and said, “Ryan, that’s your job.” I’m very glad she said that and that I heard it at 16.

The lesson I learned was that I was envious. I was envious that he had discovered his calling at the young age of 16. I’m sure he worked his ass off to get to where he is today.  But still. Why is it that he and other successful people were given the head-start but not me? Why do I have to be stuck in the middle feeling like a victim of harassment? What could’ve been my life like, if I too had the same chance at age 16?

Nonsense. What a loser. Such a first-world problem. Face it. I’m the one who brought this fate to myself. I could hear myself. Oh, my cruel self. All I care about is just me. Yikes.

What can you do when you are in the middle of being at the bottom?

I don’t know. I would not be writing this if I had the answer.

Sam Parr said: “People like people who do stuff.” Me too. I think I like myself better when I’m doing stuff.

So, here are the things I’m doing, now.

1. Keep moving: I design, code, and write.

2. Increase exposure: I signed up for Write of Passage.

3. Learn in public: I started this blog and Twitter twitter.com/jim_tak3. I will start a newsletter.

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I’m positively sure where this is going to lead. But I’m fairly certain that I won’t be writing one of those birthday advice posts anytime soon. Probably never because by the time I will be writing it, it would be way too many like 100 or so.

But for now, let me focus on, now.