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Life

How can I brag responsibly?

Is imposter syndrome a real medical condition like having some weird virus in my body? Or is that just a new PC way of bragging? If bragging doesn’t sound right, I suppose signaling will do for now. I need to communicate my status to collaborate and survive. We are evolutionarily supercharged to signal our status to peers. He’s good at that. She’s good at this. Let’s team up and disrupt our industry! Sweet!

There’s nothing wrong with signaling in that sense. Then social media happened; it’s like collaboration gone wrong. All status signaling sounds like bragging. It used to be simple. A mansion, new car, trophy wife… Well, I guess it is simple still: a piece of art, cryptocurrency, boat… There are endless ways to show off our excess liquidity. But that’s too gaudy and hollow. If I want to be seen as a virtuous, intelligent person, I should embrace a better path to signaling like demonstrating my willpower and moral high ground. I need to also signal my psychological well-being. I suppose the psychological and spiritual higher grounds were something reserved for religion in the past. But as religion fades away, it seems science, and especially medicine is taking over the place.

As the divide between the haves and have nots widens, those lucky folks born as haves (could I be considered as one of them?) are now burdened with the pressure to prove their individual merit: I have made it not because of my parents’ wealth. I have made it because I earned it. And what better way to prove your individual worth than suffering and overcoming a medical condition like imposter syndrome by working hard?

But no, a bit of complication here as to how I can measure my work ethic. We used to be able to justify our character by proclaiming, “I can pull all-nighters twice a week!” Maybe that’s still a norm in some industries but that’s not something actively encouraged anymore. So, we go more medical. To prove how hardworking you are, you can say something like “I have ADHD tendency.” Or “I’ve been working hard because I was suffering from imposter syndrome.” The keyword here is “suffering.” Regardless of how rich or poor you are, how can we judge someone who is suffering? We are compassionate colleagues after all. We can’t pile on a suffering soul. He has been battling with his insecurities and overcame the inner demon by working hard. He has proven himself as a truly successful person. He deserves to be respected and we should all want to be celebrating his success because we all want to be friends with truly successful people, yes?

Yes, that would be nice. I’m reminded of a warning label on cigarettes. Depending on where you live, a pack of cigarettes in some countries come with a large, hideous photo of charbroiled gums and lungs: If you smoke, this is how you could end up. The message is loud and clear. But this is an example of a good intention gone wrong because we feel nervous from the friendly reminder and when we feel stressed, we NEED to smoke and undo the psychological damage done! When we are feeling insecure and uncomfortable, what can we do? Right! We can fall back on the scientifically-sounding medical terminologies like imposter syndrome to wrap around our fears and just work our ass through it! No sleep required!

I guess there is nothing wrong with suffering to build character. You should even be encouraged to pick your pain and learn from it. Likewise, we can’t stop status signaling. And that’s OK. I need to do that to ensure my survival. But when I do witness someone’s status (real or not) and desire it, I need to ponder carefully what kind of pain they have gone through. They may claim that they have gone through so much pain (and suppose there's no affiliate link). But I should not forget that no two people are completely alike. They could’ve had the generous support of their parents all along. Or I could have a natural talent that they didn’t possess and so I could end up looking like instant fish in the water success.

I don’t know what’s the right way to brag responsibly. I don’t even have a conspicuous success to brag about yet. That's why I’ve already unfollowed everyone on socials. I think they are great for promoting my cause/business. But for now, I’m good with working at my own pace toward whatever stuff I find on my way. Where do these breadcrumbs lead me? I have no idea, but in the future, I’d like to brag about one thing: Thanks to your lead, I am also leaving something behind me. And I’m proud of that.

portrait of hipster donkey

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