You know, the kind of party that the foods taste like shit and everyone is speaking in a foreign language. The damn music is too freaking loud too. Oh, here comes the host! But then, off he goes in 15 seconds to attend other guests...
So, what should you do? Should you tell them to:
a. Speak in your language?
b. Turn off the stupid music?
c. Replace the crap with a healthier menu?
That’s how I usually feel when I try to give feedback to other people’s writing. I sound like an unimaginable jerk, but my intention wasn’t pure evil from the start.
I was trying because I believe the positive power of feedback is real. It is life-changing. I’ve never received such high-quality feedback on my writing (and on my identity) until recently. So, having received the amazing feedback from my peers, I naturally wanted to pass on the goodwill by doing my part too.
However, there surfaced a challenge.
Reading other people’s writings exhausted me. I felt bad for feeling bored. I suppose I should’ve told them that they are boring. But then, I was diplomatically-handicapped to say, “Yo bro, your writing sucks.”
Besides, if they don’t trust me or respect me to start out with, why would they care what I say? Yes, I could’ve told them nicely, “This sentence confuses me because I have no idea what these words mean.” But most writers write toward their own group with their own set of codes. My feedback would’ve been completely irrelevant.
Then, at the end of the reading, my impossible questions drained me out completely.
How can I convince him to write without so many jargons?
How can I convince her to skip the BS and speak with her own voice?
Why does he come off as so moralistic and how could I even suggest to question his moral value?
So, we are back to the terrible party situation I talked about at the start.
What should I do to improve the party?
How can I help them change their food, music, and language?
It took me a whole week to figure this out. The answer is simple.
D. Fire up Uber app and take off.
Being an intruder, after all, sucks for everyone. I shouldn’t pretend to belong in a community where I feel uncomfortable because I can only accept them the way they are. It’s about time that I learn the lesson: People hate people who try to change them.
Luckily, the internet is big enough for all of us. From now on, I will offer my time and feedback only to those who actually care to speak to me in my language. That way, people from a different tribe don’t have to waste their time reading my pointless comments.
In short, I need to find my people scattered around the globe by creating my content.
Okay, I am now ready to write my next article!
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